hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
