$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
