I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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