Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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