Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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