I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize