I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
