laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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