evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
