I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
