Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
