What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
