it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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