Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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