Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
