I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
