shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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