ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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