I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
