Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
