I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I stole a fireplace last night.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
