Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
