i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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