At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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