I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
