Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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