D3 body, D1 cock
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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