Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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