i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
