Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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