she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
