So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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