Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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