idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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