google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
