he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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