Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you traded sex for a burrito?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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