I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
