Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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