Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
