I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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