just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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