she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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