i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
