It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
