Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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