3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
