im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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