I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
