her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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