i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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