Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
